Vicarious Rising

...awww... and he sings too...

I wanted to share this post from singer/songwriter John Mayer's blog. I like his music pretty well, especially Bigger Than My Body (and when he sings it, that fugly/sexy thing works for me... I saw him on Saturday Night Live and was like, "sheesh, that's a scary face, but it's sort of a turn-on with that voice and guitar). He's given permission for anyone to reprint his post, so here it is. Anywho, it's nice to see a famous person not being an idiot for a change.

UNDER THE (IMPRESSION I CAN) INFLUENCE (PEOPLE AROUND ME)

With Chad, Left, seated. (With glasses)


I'm taking to the blog today to share something with you that I feel more passionate about than I saw coming.
I want to make it short and sweet so that anybody who wants to re-print it can copy and paste without editing...

Went out to dinner Thursday night. My car. One glass of wine. Carpooled from dinner to go out to one more place. Everyone in my car. At the next spot, I do the Diet Coke with Lime thing. My favorite scotch (Lagavulin 16 year) arrives under my nose. "Can't do it," I say. Then I find out my friend has switched to Designated Driver and has a plan that involves everyone getting home safe. Cool. I love Lagavulin when the time is right. Now it's the end of the night and I'm feeling wonderfully buzzy and ready to get dropped off to my house in my car, except the person that was going to follow my car in the DD's car to drive him back isn't in shape to drive either.

It's 2 o'clock in the morning. I call my housemate Chad. Chad's sleeping. He was in the studio all day. I explain to him that I need him to jump in the back seat of my car, ride to the DD's car and drive me back home. Of course Chad says "yes" and comes through like a champ. A champ, I say.

Here's what I want to tell you:

If I, incredibly hot/fugly John Mayer can make that call, so can you.

The distance from the parking lot to my house was about 5 miles, mostly straight shot up the coast of Santa Monica, zero traffic. And I didn't drive it. Me. The guy who gets the VIP velvet rope treatment in life.

Oh, and the call? It's not the coolest you'll ever sound. And the logistics? It's kind of inelegant. You trace the same route twice when all you want to do is fall into bed. But you gotta do it.

This is all coming from a guy who you can be sure would have found a sexier way to get home if there was one available. And there just isn't, especially in LA. (You can be sexy again the next day when you wake up with the rest of your big, beautiful life in front of you.)

I'm not writing this to earn golf claps, it's just that if I'm going to stand in any way as an ambassador of something cool or influential, this is more important than any pair of sneakers or a guitar.

And to give a big high five to the Chads of the world.

See you around

JM

Social Contortion

Tag was not one of my favorite games as a kid. Maybe because I didn't like being called "it" or because I couldn't run all that fast or because it didn't seem to involve very much imagination. I suspect I really had a case of sour grapes because I wasn't very good at those kinds of games.

I am, however, rather pleased to have been tagged by three different fellow bloggers to name my seven current favorite songs. Thank you to LushGurl, Kel and Rexie for the tags and making me feel a part of this wonderful, insane gang.

I'm going to just assume I should give new songs I am listening to because otherwise y'all would be stuck with a Queen-heavy list. These are the latest most played tunes on my iPod playlist (in no order):

North American Scum - LCD Soundsystem
Rebellion (Lies) - Arcade Fire
The Package - A Perfect Circle
Dashboard - Modest Mouse
Grace Kelly - MIKA
Flathead - The Fratellis
The Adventure - Angels & Airwaves

I tag the following bloggers: Crazy Panda, Crystal J, David O, Hoolala, Postpaleo, SoberChick & Whiskey for the Monkey. Maybe a couple tags will coax SoberChick out into blogland.

Tomorrow I face my therapist in person. I've mentioned before that I drive three hours each way once a month to visit him face to face. We've been doing this since September because I moved away from where he practices in NJ. I still talk to him on the phone twice a week, and in some ways therapy has progressed in an interesting way because I don't have to look at his responses to me when I speak. For certain areas of discussion, this has been particularly useful, because even after seven years of working together I am very reticent about a good deal of things. Not having to deal with reading his expression relieves me of an instinctive desire to please him or to protect myself. Literally saves face for me in a number of ways. But tomorrow, after clueing him in on a bunch of fairly disquieting areas I am ready to explore, I have to sit in the same room with him and try not to stare longingly at the door.

I'll be fine. I know I will. But I feel like a stunted kid, awkward and gangly. A real oxymoron. And yet...

...and yet I am ready. I wonder if this is a little bit of surrender of sorts.

Looney Tunes

In an effort to lighten up I took an online quiz to find out which Harry Potter character I would most get along with. Not surprisingly, I turned out to be a flake:

You scored as Luna Lovegood. You're an extreme introvert and because of this, are also a deep thinker. You ponder things others would never dream of pondering and stand with your beliefs without backing down. You find it more valuable to daydream than to socialize, because there's so much more going on in your head than others'. Most people don't understand it, but you seem to prefer it that way.

My second closest scores were a tie with Hermione Granger, Sirius Black and Albus Dumbledore. I could live with that company.

To take the quiz yourself, click on the following link: Harry Potter Character Combatibility Test
created with QuizFarm.com

I spent about six hours alone in my car today, stuck with myself. Judging by the results of this quiz, I would think this would be my preferred company. But not today. I had to turn my music way up to keep my brain from getting stuck in obsessive thoughts. I tried to focus on the road and clearing my head. It wasn't easy. I wanted to plan, plan, plan. Dig my way out of this place I am in. Be the queen of self-determination. I am trying to just let things be rather than fiddle with machinations so much. That damn ride in the car was was a forced meditation of sorts. Loud angry music seemed to help. I think.

This goofy song called "Grace Kelly" by some guy named Mika made me laugh. I replayed it about five times. He's having an identity crisis in it and mentions Freddie. I think I feel a little better tonight. (An aside: I dunno where the whole crazy Freddie M. thing came from. My last major celebrity crush was Russell Crowe. Hardly the same type. Go figure.)

I'm a little disconcerted, however, about my Luna Lovegood results. Cool porn name aside, I'm still facing this problem of secluding myself from others when I know a big part of the solution to my problems is looking for help outside myself. While I know I can endlessly entertain myself, I hate this idea of being a world unto myself. But I am so afraid of being misunderstood, especially in light of how my best friend completely miscontrued me recently, that I am feeling a lot like space cadet Luna - out on the fringes and never to be accepted into society.