Shards

I've finally started to tackle organizing the last space in my two-year-old home. Perhaps unsurprisingly, this space is my personal sanctuary. I initially set out my home decorating gung-ho in my home office space, assuming I'd immediately want to take advantage of one place that was all my own to escape the normal family shared-space chaos. 

But I've found myself using that room little, telling myself that the "me" time can wait until I've squared away the places everyone else uses. I think I've done myself a bit of disservice in this behavior. So - at last - I'm carving out pleasure time for me.

I've decided to take my time going through all my "fun stuff," which is a conglomeration of artsy things, books and other important silly items and mementos that are precious to me. This morning I went through my small comic book collection and sorted everything by date into nice storage boxes. What I found during the course of the years of 2002-2005 was evidence of my alcoholism. My primary comic collected at that time was Lucifer by Mike Carey. In my drunken absentmindedness, I had multiple issues of some and skipped months of others. I remember, in that peculiar way that drunks sometimes do, having intense Deja vu feelings reading the story. Gee, I wonder why. I thought it was some cosmic brilliance and connection to the oh-so-cerebral writers -- not that I'd picked up, paid for and read the same issue three times in a month without remembering. And then when I missed an issue, I'd wonder about the continuity skip. I just chalked it up to the comic writers being clever and wanting the fans to read between the lines (or that I'd missed some obscure literary reference that I surely should have known if I weren't such a loser). Nope. Just a regular alkie with holes in her memory. 

I rolled my eyes a lot this morning. I'm glad to be on the other side today, looking at the artifacts of my past.

Comments

[Kristin H.]

An eye roller of a day. That's a good one :) I remember running across some old writings from college that were done under the influence. I thought I was so deep and profound. I was really just very pathetic.

Good to hear from you :)

[Syd]

I haven't rolled my eyes in a long time. But the thought of it made me smile. I'm sure that there will be a time and place again for some eye rolling. Glad that you are going through the bits of your past. I am doing some of that with regard to work...with mixed emotions.

[GabriellaMoonlight]

oh the eye rolling I do it a lot but not while reading this post, your honesty and just the flow of life are always why I come back to your blog, to know how you are and what you are doing...glad to know you're well.

xo gabi

[ScottF]

I like going through old things, recalling past times.... It grounds me to remember where I've come from.