Disappointing the Counselor

It's been about two months since my therapist went on vacation. He has a place in the Poconos on a lake. He's in his 70s, but he still races sailboats, which I think is utterly cool. It's hard for me to remember he is close to my grandparents' age when he is more active than my own parents are. He sets a good example, I think, on how to continue to enjoy life. Not that he tells me anywhere near as much as I'd like to know about him, but he carries an air of a life well-lived about him.

We had our first phone therapy session since June this past week, and it was nice to hear his voice. I had much to tell him about the summer. He also doesn't take notes and does forgets certains things I tell him. He forgot that I told him that my sister was getting married, for instance, because he asked me if there was a man in my sister's life. One of the more peculiar things he always forgets, that really isn't a big psychological deal to me at all, is that my father-in-law has MS. While, yes, this is a difficult thing to live with, my father-in-law's case is very slow progressing and he has the best medical care. It only comes up periodically in therapy, with my therapist popping in with a surprised, "Oh. I didn't know your father-in-law has MS? How is that?"

Making the whole thing a bit more confounding, or maybe even a little more understandable in its own twisted way, was when I finally asked him if he had a particular interest in MS. Turns out his mother had it and it contributed to her decline and death. My therapist also served at one point as some sort of leadership at a national level for the research foundation (or maybe it was state level. Not positive). Making it more perplexing that he forgets when a client of his has a parent dealing with the disease. When I run out of things to talk about, I sometimes want to drag that into the conversation, but I really hate to be manipulative because I am nosey and want to deflect off myself.

Towards the end of our 50 minutes, my doc said to me, "Well, I'm not used to my patients having a break from me, then not coming back with a load of complaints."

I laughed at this because really all I had been doing is talking about what a terrific summer I'd had (including about the fish my son caught while with his grandma that he would only let his mom and dad eat... see the photo for our fish meal :)  It's dressed with fresh fennel and leeks and heirloom tomatoes). I apologized, but then said that I really did have an awesome summer and just plain enjoyed myself. He tossed out that he was raising his fee $10 a session. I replied that since in the many years I have been seeing him, that was his first fee increase and I thought it was perfectly reasonable (I'm also thinking in the back of my mind, "I wonder how much longer I will be needing this anyway"). I was sorry to not have more to bitch about, but it just wasn't in me. Maybe we'd done our job.

Next week I'll be seeing him in person. I feel like he's a family member in so many ways. I don't think he really was too put out that I wasn't moaning about his absence. He's one adult I've come to trust to want me to be able to grow up and stand on my own without him. It may sound silly, but I think he's proud of me. Furthermore, I am glad he is. I'm proud of me too.

Comments

[Syd]

I don't know how I'd do with therapy over the phone. But it is really cool that he still races sailboats. He sounds like a good guy. Hope that your weekend is going well. The fish dish looks great.

[Adele/Toast]

he sounds cool and it is soo important to have someone in your life who has no ulterior motive.

[Adele/Toast]

he sounds cool and it is soo important to have someone in your life who has no ulterior motive.