Wearing My Insides Out

My husband's parents are prosperous enough to own multiple homes in multiple states, which allows them to enjoy fortuitous weather yearlong. It is also rather lucky for us, as we get to hop down to Florida in the winter time and we usually have a nice apartment in New York City to crash in whenever we want to visit the city.

But it does make for a little bit of a lonely winter as everyone packs up and leaves us up in the cold Northeast. But come May, everyone is returning.

This year is especially fun because we - finally - have our new home to show off. Just in the last two days we've had family guests over. I think one of my biggest thrills, however, was hearing my 13-year-old saying to his grandmother and her friends, "yes, we are all very proud of our house." I love that he feels ownership here. I know when I was a kid, the house I lived in was very much my parents' home and not mine at all.

One of our guests was the 80+ mother of my mother-in-law's best friend. She is having a lot of trouble with walking (she suffers from fibromyalgia, among other ailments) and her mind is going a bit. She walked around the first floor of the house, then settled down into one of our comfy chairs. At one point, I was standing across the room, about 30 feet away, and she shuffled her way over to me. I smiled at her and was about to ask if she needed something.

"You are more beautiful than ever," she said to me. "You've always been an attractive person, but you have never looked more beautiful. I just had to come over here and tell you that."

I swear I blushed and I thanked her. It was so sweet. Especially since I was shlepping around in raggedy jeans and a sweatshirt and I needed a shower. My husband teased her that she maybe needed new glasses (to which she responded, "actually, I do.") Maybe it is that thing that makes you dotty and loving when you're old, but I have had a lot of other people say how much different and better I look, that I carry myself differently and with more peace. You know what? I think this sober living agrees with me. I think my own skin is beginning to fit me right.

Comments

[kenny]

re your post below -

I'm not sure one can be said to practice **anything** "in all our (your) affairs", if one doesn't do it in a literal sense! Doesn't make sense, othwerwise. Everything and anything else is semantics and word games.

Half measures availed us nothing... or whatever the exact "easier/softer way" quote is in Chapter Five.

I hope you're both very happy in your new home!

[VicariousRising]

Ok, Kenny. When you start literally practicing AA in all of your affairs, come back and tell me how to do it right.

I'm pretty sure the Big Book doesn't give a prescribed number of meetings to attend.

Boy, do people get kerfluffled about this topic. It's like they're afraid if you do it different and succeed, it negates how they've been doing things. Very odd.

[Krishanna]

Me, again. You hit the nail on the head. I remember once I was spouting off such bullshit. Looking back on it now, I see I was pretty much parroting a bunch of shit that is not outlined in the Big Book and annoying the fuck out of everyone I knew with my preachy, holier than thou nauseating attitude. So, my sponsor being the awesome chick she was, gave me an assignment. She suggested I look through the first 164 pages of the Big Book and note every instance where it was said that meetings were the only way to stay successfully sober, where it said we must attend meetings to stay sober, and where it said not going to meetings were "half-measures" and the "easier softer way". I was practicing that pesky "contempt prior to investigation" thing and I was far too interested in was other people were or were not doing because I was either fucking up everytime I turned around or I was terrified of not doing it right.

The Big Book doesn't even mention meetings. It talks a great deal about talking with other drunks and working with others as an important part of getting and staying sober, along with developing a relationship with a power greater than yourself, but talk about meetings? Nope. There isn't even talk about the "right way" to work the program. All of that stuff heard in a lot of meetings and spouted about is widely accepted OPINION of what works. I stand by what I said yesterday... work the program and talk to other people about what's going on with you. Just don't close the door on going meetings permanently. They really can help sometimes. Hell you can always e-mail me or I can give you my IM id. Best~ Krishanna

[Syd]

You sound great. I like old people too. They have this endearing way about them. I hope that someone treats me with kindness when I am old and gray.

[brokenheartedmom]

Stop drinking...get beautiful! Why don't they put that in the Big Book.

[Guilty Secret]

Aw, what a lovely lady and a heart-warming post that came out of that :)

[MiseryMarketing]

Krishanna - It's in A Vision for You where it talks about evening meeting in their homes and how they meet frequently so that newcomers can find them.