Let it Rain

My therapist and I are in the process of breaking up. It's a very strange thing to do with deliberation and discussion. I imagine this is the way we are supposed to grow up and leave home. But I think it seldom happens in this way. It is an unusual experience, and rather uncomfortable. I feel a lot of discordant emotions, pleasure and guilt, excitement and fear. But I think in the end sum, it feels right. It feels time.

Nearly.

Decorating my home has been a joy interspersed with headaches along the way. Most of the headaches seem to be shipping related, and unfortunately cannot be pegged on just one shipping company. This has me rather disgruntled, particularly since I am rather in love with online shopping. It give me the opportunity to patronize independent artisans and smaller boutique shops and discover new things the world over. But the merchandise needs to arrive and arrive in one piece. I never had much of a problem (except for the mail lady who smoked incessantly so everything smelled of cigarettes and she also would never bring packages to the door even when we were home: she always left the "sorry we missed you" slip in the mailbox right before I'd watch her drive off in her USPS truck.) until recently. I don't know what the deal is, but it isn't like everybody is spending tons of money shopping. You'd think the delivery folk wouldn't have much else to do but get their jobs done right.

One lovely item that just arrived is this Zen Rain Drop glass mobile I purchased from Leah Pellegrini's Glass Creations on Etsy. My office faces south and gets quite a lot of sunlight. I think this will look beautiful hanging in the windows over my desk.

Leah included a little business card-sized note on her inspiration of the mobile's design, and I thought I would share it because it reflects some of what I have been going through the past several months.:

In this image of lotus leaves in the early morning, we can see in the rippling of the water that one drop has just fallen. It is a precious moment, and one that is full of poignency. In surrendering to gravity and slipping off the leaf, the drop loses its previous identity and joins the vastness of the water below. We can imagine that it must have trembled before it fell, just on the edge between the known and the unknowable.

~Osho Zen Tarot

Leah says to "remember to let go and your life will thank you". I like the imagery of the lone, trembling drop of water setting itself free. But I don't like to think of it as wiping out its entire identity. Rather, that it is joining the part of itself it had been separated from, that it is being made whole. I kind of have to wonder if the vastness below is any more knowledgeable than the lone drop above. Or does it too change beyond the impact of superficial ripples when hit by the droplet? Maybe it doesn't matter. And I'm not so sure about surrendering to gravity. I'm not in any hurry to get wrinkles. But the rest sounds good.

There I go, ruining a perfectly good metaphor with literal interpretation. I'm having a hard time taking myself too seriously these days. I think that's progress.

Comments

[postpaleo]

It feels like there is, or should be, a comment about you and your therapist's impending divorce in me. I don't know where it is, yet. Perhaps it will form later as things progress. I'm drawn to what you wrote, have been thinking about it, so I suppose this is a bit of a note just to say it sure hasn't passed unnoticed.

Mobiles. I recall the old man going through a mobile phase. They were on the crude side (coat hanger wire and crape paper) and that was fine with him. It wasn't so much the object of the mobiles he had in mind to do well, it was the challenge of photographing them in different light settings. He really was and remained in the challenge of the shadow. I still like black and white photography, very often over color. That is a fine mobile and one I would choose as well.

[pat]

It is lovely.

[Syd]

I agree with you about service and deliveries and quality of products. I wonder how long it will be before we simply just give up of ever having anything of quality. The mobile looks very nice. Glad that you received that.

[Coyote]

Hey strangers!
The wrinkle thing. If I see one more 'beauty" accept applause for how well they look - I saw one who looked about 20 and she was in fact 48-How can they be-well I would certainly be,at least, or feel embarrassed and deceitful, because it had nothing to do with living the 'good' - healthy life and every thing to do with a surgeon's knife.

I recently saw Marianne Williams-someone in whom I respected-in many ways wisdom having to do with age-based on experience. I saw her on some show and nor only did look different-she also looked about 25.

That's it!

Coyote

[Misery Marketing]

I'll take "The Rapist" for $500 Alex.

Thats "Therapist", Mr. Connery.

[Guilty Secret]

Will you move onto another therapist or quit therapy for now?